Sometimes I wonder if I let things go to far and if I’m stuck.
Its almost like I just can’t be friends with anyone. Like I’m not meant to have friends. I just put this wall up, but why is that a bad thing? I’m just protecting myself. I’ve gotten played, used and taken advantage of way too much by people who claimed to be my ‘friend’… But sometimes I feel really lonely. I don’t seem to act myself around anyone but Alex. I always put up a fake front to be nice and interested in the person I’m talking to when I wish I could just be my good ol’ cursing, not giving a fuck what people think, self. I don’t like people to begin with, but I do want to have fun and have someone to talk to… I feel like a fucking bum sitting around doing nothing when I’m not in school. I could absolutely be hanging out with friends. Not to mention that the adventures you have with friends are means for good photo ops! I just want a friend, man :/ maybe a couple… Idk.